30 October 2007

I'm Coming Out

The problem with leaving comments on websites and blogs is that it causes me to write weird things and make goofy or obscure references. Once I quoted Zig Ziglar. Apparently, I hadn’t come down from the motivational high of attending a Get Motivated seminar with my then-colleagues.

In lieu of posting unnecessary and rambling comments on my favorite sites, I’m outing myself as a lurker by adding a list of Blogs I peep (yoo hoo, guys, it’s a new category buried in the Right Column). Some blogs I read more than others, but these are a few I’ve enjoyed lately.

Eventually I plan to add a list of random websites I visit regularly. It will help give my audience a more complete picture of the weirdo I am.

29 October 2007

Hi-Ho Cherry-O, A blogging we will go

Friday night was a blast! James and I showed up early to meet with Jeremy and take full advantage of our SIP Club membership. After a quick dinner, all three of us crashed the STL Blogger Gathering. Even though no one had any previous clue that we existed, we were immediately welcomed into the crowd.

I enjoyed meeting the faces behind some of the random blogs I read (but never comment on) and when mixed together, the variety of people held some interesting, weird and funny conversations. Raquita summed it up best by saying, “Trust me you had to be there.”

I’m looking forward to another gathering, though I am convinced that Liz should host the next Kick Ass Blogger Party.

26 October 2007

Bloggers and Beer

Tonight is the much-anticipated STL Blogger Gathering at Schlafly Bottleworks in Maplewood and of course, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed in super crab ass mode. James did everything he could to calm the ‘situation’ but I wasn’t having any of that smiling-and-happy-BS.

Fast forward one hour and two large cups of coffee later…

I’m lurking around to see who I can expect at tonight’s gathering and stumble upon a list of people I can’t wait to meet. Feeling blah, I sadly thought to myself, “I want to be a person someone can’t wait to meet.” Then BAM!

Jeannette Eats Spaghetti was right there on the list! SWEET!

Thanks Marijean, you put a smile on my face!

25 October 2007

Oh, Make Me Over

As a chic, my womanly supplies su-diddily-uck.

My makeup is old. I haven’t bought new eye shadow in a year and I’ve used the same blush since December 2004. I don’t even own foundation. Or lipstick. Instead, I use Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer (tinted chapstick), for ya know, when I’m trying to sex-up my smile.

I have long hair. I always have. Yet I only know how to style it about four different ways. ‘Using a different barrette’ constitutes as one of those style variations. My curling iron and blow dryer are at least ten years old. The room smells of burnt-something when I use either of them. I don’t have top quality hair products to tame my waves and on any humid day, my hair ends up looking frizzy and out-of-control like Cameron Diaz in Being John Malkovitch.

I have a horrible wardrobe. I own a few select items that fit properly and thus, I wear them over and over again. I’m hanging on to clothes from nine years ago, a time when I weighed less than 110 pounds.
I’m 29. I no longer have the body of a teenager; I have womanly curves, which means my old clothes are too small. And it’s no secret that small or otherwise ill-fitting clothes can lower a woman’s self-esteem.

I don’t have any accessories. Sure, I have a few necklaces and bracelets, but I need purses, belts, scarves, jewelry and so on. If I am lucky enough to put together a semi-cute outfit, I can’t accessorize. Even my shoe collection sucks. Again, I’m hanging onto things that need to be thrown out.

And while we’re on the subject of a total makeover, aren’t I supposed to have a huge trunk full of sexy bras, panties and lingerie?

The saga continues

Due to my lackluster wardrobe I never know what to wear. It does not matter the occasion, I have to ask James for advice about how I should dress. The other day he finally said, “I’m a man. I don’t want to answer questions like, ‘What should I wear?’ You’re a chic, you should know that stuff.”

The problem is I don’t know that stuff. I never know what to wear. I never seem to have anything appropriate. To cope, I’m learning tricks to get around my persistent fashion dilemma.

This morning my friend Jessica picked me up to go for a workout. Of course, I didn’t know what to wear so I asked,
“Are you wearing yoga pants?” ---No, I’m wearing Capris.
“Tank top or t-shirt?” ---Two tanks, actually.
“Did you put your hair up? Bun or ponytail?” ---Ponytail.

Of course when she picked me up I had my hair pulled back into a ponytail, was wearing Capri pants and two layered tank tops.

I had no other options, I swear.

23 October 2007

Picnic in Forest Park

Stop by my flickr page to see a few pictures from Sunday.
James and I took advantage of the beautiful fall day and went for a walk through Forest Park.

Picnic

Although I didn't get photos of these events, they deserve honorable mention:

There was an ambulance outside of the reception being held at the World's Fair Pavilion. As we passed by, I heard the ambulance driver say to a cop, "...old guy fell down...."

We passed a woman hula-hooping in her backyard. She spotted us, waved, and kept on girating her hips. I know she was just exercising but the the whole interaction was still kinda weird, in a cool way.

I really wanted to snap a photo, but it would have been rude.

22 October 2007

I heart typos!

I hate making mistakes, but I sure love to find the typos and misspellings of others. In fact, one of my biggest accomplishments was finding the word Jerusalem misspelled in the Bible; they forgot to include the R.

To even the score, my typo-low-point occurred when I sent out my first ‘big’ survey and asked, “Would you like to shcedule an on-site visit?” The error slipped by unnoticed by me and three other proofreaders. The very first response had my transposition circled in thick, black marker. I couldn’t friggin’ believe it!

Tonight I was looking for random St. Louis Halloween activities and I noticed a nice typo on the Lemp Mansion website. They wrote “22st Annual Lemp Mansion Halloween Party” (actually, the typo is within a graphic).

Yesss! Found one!

Machine-Gun-Leg Chic: The Movie

After seeing the preview I’ll be the first to admit I was intrigued. I wanted to see a movie about a chic with a machine gun for a leg. Planet Terror was no disappointment. It was unexpectedly awesome and sent me on an emotional roller coaster, bringing forth every mood, reaction and sensation I possess.

First it was boring, then sexy, intriguing, brutal, cheesy, ironic, weird, disgusting and hilarious, in that order. The movie is bizarre, full of twists and turns with lots of guns, explosions, action and fighting. Characters range from the average-Joe, to biochemical-infected flesh-eating zombies, crazy babysitter twins, demented doctors, military men, lesbians, a restaurant owner with a secret BBQ recipe, a go-go dancer and more! Emotions come and go in random and unsuspecting order as you’re grossed out, in suspense, upset, afraid, disturbed, thrilled – it never ends!

Now before you watch the movie, realize that as much as it’s intriguing, fun and hilarious, it’s more weird, violent and gross. Be prepared for lots of death, blood and squirting pus (eww), along with gory zombie attacks, a sack of dismembered testicles, a dog being run over by a truck… well, I don’t want to give the movie away. Just prepare yourself for totally disgusting, yet humorous and pleasing weirdness.

Once you’ve seen the movie, can you report back and give me a theory or two about how Cherry Darling fired her machine gun leg? She just raised her leg, aimed and it fired. …A triggerless gun with perfect timing? Come on, that seems a little ridiculous.

19 October 2007

Never before seen footage

I’ve been a little too focused on one project for the last few weeks and as a result I have slacked on both my flickr account and RezHub gig.

Last night I made up for lost time and added a variety of never before seen photos from our Hawaii trip. Ironically, pictures that I posted more than a month ago are lucky to have six or seven views; of the photos I posted last night, one in particular has been viewed more than 100 times! And it isn’t even scandalous!

I regret avoiding bikini shots while in Hawaii. To make up for it I’ll have to invest in some push-up bras and cleavage-enhancing shirts. That seems to be the most effective way of increasing my page views.

16 October 2007

The time I got ‘Black Crowed’

Last year, James and I went to a much anticipated Black Crowes concert. During the how-many-days-until-the-show countdown, for the prior 45 days or so, it was Black Crowe City. I listened to them every single day and couldn’t stop thinking about the upcoming show. I was more than just stoked, I was way stoked!

We arrive at the Pageant and as the bouncers check our ID (we look totally immature), they mention something about “perfect timing.” The crowd began cheering, the band started to play… and so begins the three hours long, ALL Black Crowes show! Freak yeah! I’m pumped! I’m ready to ROCK!

By the time we hit intermission I was confused. I flashed James a perplexed look and asked, “Do you know any of these songs? I’ve never heard any of this music.” His response, “Some fan you are.”

For the entire three hour concert, I rocked out to awesome, yet foreign, music. How the hell did that happen? The answer involves simple math, which I will attempt to make complicated. My answer is so ridiculous that it might just be the best run-on sentence ever. Scratch that, you have to check out the Run-on Sentence Uncyclopedia page. Now back to my bad sentence…

In between the random-band-member interchanges, breakups and get-back-togethers, The Black Crowes managed to release 13 singles, 12 albums, a box set (which repeated their first four albums and added five extra songs), then take into consideration that they like to re-record and re-release songs, it makes the math kind of hard to do, but I’m guesstimating they’ve released about 187 songs (since they are included in the box set, I excluded their first four albums; if you add them in again, they’ve released 253 songs, 66 of them twice) – herein lies the problem, we own approximately 34 songs or less (James, can you add up the number of songs we owned on the day of that concert and give me an exact figure, please, for the sake of correctness).

To sum up that unnecessary sentence, The Black Crowes released a lot more songs than what we owned at the time. I will never again watch an awesome band perform, while rocking out in total oblivion. For the love of Science H. Lojic, I will never get ‘Black Crowed’ again.

15 October 2007

Hide the Evidence!

Although I didn’t drink a drop yesterday, this morning I woke up and kind of felt hung over. How is that possible? I know we went on a three-day drinking binge, but sheesh. I didn’t realize it was going to take an additional three days for me to recover.

And for some strange reason I didn’t take one single picture while we were in Iowa. Then again, it’s not easy to capture the fun. Like when I saw strange-man balls… twice. Really, what do I take a picture of? The balls? Or would it be more appropraite to take a self-portrait of me in hysterical laughter as a drunken so-and-so walks around the bar with his hairy balls hanging out, just to get a reaction?

Ahhh, good times.

It was a much-needed getaway. Everyone was so great, so fun and so incredibly nice. Outside of Tyson, I had never met any of James’ college friends. Yet, no one made me feel like a newcomer or outsider. I felt welcome and loved by every single person. What more can you want? Actives and alumni brought together - instantly lifelong friends - because they are part of a fraternity.

I must take a moment to give special props to the pregnant wives who acted as our designated drivers. Thanks for making sure we all got home safely!!!

13 October 2007

Iowa or Bust

I'm in Iowa, suffering from the brown bottle flu. Ugh.

James and I came to visit his college friends and have been drinking. A lot. For the last few days I've been teetering between drunk-fun, and recovering from said fun. It's nice to let loose, forget our adult responsibilities and party like we're underage.

In just a few short hours I will be obliterated. Again.

One more day of that pleasant hangover feel and it'll be back to business as usual.

10 October 2007

14 Years Without You

MySpace has been a great tool to help me stay in contact with family and friends. Not only that, but because of the random things people post, I am always learning new and interesting facts about their life. Although sometimes the details can be rather heartbreaking.

This morning I logged onto MySpace to check on a few friends. Several of them mention Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but one person in particular stood out because she posted a picture of her mother with the caption, “14 years without you.” Sarah is only 23. That means she lost her mother when she was 9 years old.

Wow.

I have known lots and lots of people who have been affected by a wide variety of cancers. Sadly, very few of them have survived. Somehow I don’t know anyone who’s had breast cancer, so I’ve decided to Go Pink for October in memory of Sarah’s mom.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM). The goal is simply to educate and bring awareness to breast cancer.

Early detection offers the best chance for survival. Breast cancer tumors develop slowly and by the time a lump is felt it may have been in development for as long as ten years. Screening begins at home with a monthly breast self-exam. The most effective detection tool is a mammography and it is recommended that women over 40 have a mammogram each year. The rules change if you are considered high risk, so talk to your doctor if you have a family history of breast cancer.

Visit any of the links below to learn more.

American Cancer Society
National Breast Cancer Foundation
BreastCancer.org
Susan G. Komen for the Cure
National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Answers.com Breast Cancer Guide


08 October 2007

You Eeediot!

I consider myself to be of normal intelligence, maybe even slightly above average, but from time to time I do really dumb things.

On Saturday, I learned that my finger is not necessarily the best way to measure temperature. Like many injuries, this one occurred in the kitchen. I was about to cook lunch and began to wonder if a pan was hot. It was supposed to be hot; after all, it was on a burner for several minutes. That should have been my first clue NOT to touch it, but the pan didn’t really look hot - as if pans look a certain way when they’re heated up.

So I touched it.

Actually, I didn’t just touch it. I applied full pressure and poked the pan like it was the Pillsbury Dough Boy. The pan turned out to be very, very, very hot. And now the whole end of my finger is a blister.

The weird part about this is that I poked with my middle finger. Most people poke things with their pointer finger. Apparently, I don’t. And I have a blister to prove it.

06 October 2007

Makin’ Bacon

Visit my articles posted on RezHub.com. My writings are in the Travel Experts Forum under the handle Adventurous.

After you read an article, click one of the links to the right. They are located in a box titled “Ads by Google.” I get paid per click, but I think it’s something like 42 clicks equal a penny, so every click counts.

Check back often as I am posting several articles each week. While you’re in the neighborhood, revisit some of my other articles, even if you’ve already read them.

Open them. Increase the number of views.

Click the links on the right.

Your clicks will turn into my bacon.

So please, for the love of bacon, GET CLICKING!

04 October 2007

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

I thought that only Santa had a naughty list, but apparently you do, too. And my name is right at the top.

Come on, Mr. Sandman, isn’t it your job to make sure people like me get rest? Where have you been? For several days I’ve been walking around in a sleepy-stupor, feeling agitated and tired.

Please don’t make me toss and turn, wide awake for hours and hours, wondering where you are. If you come by tonight and sprinkle your magic sand over my eyes, I’ll forgive your seemingly lack of concern for my rest and well-being. Until then…

If you see the sandman, punch that dude in the head for me.

02 October 2007

Laziest. Weekend. Ever.

It’s not that I’ve been sooo busy that I couldn’t find the time to update my blog. I’ve just been too lazy to do it. I’ve also been too lazy to do most anything else outside of keeping up with daily chores. And I’ve barely done that. Here it is, Tuesday, and I’m still recovering from the Laziest. Weekend. Ever.

It all started on Saturday morning. James and I were up bright and early to head to Collinsville for some kind of home show thing. I wish I had a better description of the event, but we never even made it out of St. Louis. We stopped for a yummy breakfast at our favorite dive, Courtesy Diner. Over eggs, biscuits and gravy we decided to make a quick stop at Sports Authority… which is conveniently located next to James’ favorite store: Best Buy.

It was here that we took advantage of every sale and special Best Buy had to offer, walking out with more movies than we needed. I’m not even sure if we made it outside of the building when we decided that we just HAD to get home to start a movie marathon. It wasn’t even 10:30 in the morning.

We raced home and popped in Trainspotting followed immediately by Knocked Up. (Dear Jeremy, Knocked Up did not suck. It is your movie critiquing skills that S. U. C. K. suck.) After that we started the Roast of William Shatner, the extended and uncensored version. It turns out that the uncensored part was way cool while the extended part way sucked. We totally lost steam after a half-baked Farrah Fawcett took the podium and fumbled every joke. Our excitement ended and so did the marathon.

First thing the next morning (albeit, a later start than the previous day) we watched The Illusionist. Feeling guilty for wasting the weekend away, we began to dust, vacuum and mop. While the floor was drying we pondered our waiting yard work. Pull weeds? Mow grass? Nah, let’s watch Back to School. And so we did.

What’s the moral of this story? There is no moral or lesson to be learned. We’ve been working like maniacs, burning the candle at both ends and needed a break. No work. No house projects. No plans to go here and there. We just needed to participate in some good, old-fashioned laziness.

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