16 October 2007

The time I got ‘Black Crowed’

Last year, James and I went to a much anticipated Black Crowes concert. During the how-many-days-until-the-show countdown, for the prior 45 days or so, it was Black Crowe City. I listened to them every single day and couldn’t stop thinking about the upcoming show. I was more than just stoked, I was way stoked!

We arrive at the Pageant and as the bouncers check our ID (we look totally immature), they mention something about “perfect timing.” The crowd began cheering, the band started to play… and so begins the three hours long, ALL Black Crowes show! Freak yeah! I’m pumped! I’m ready to ROCK!

By the time we hit intermission I was confused. I flashed James a perplexed look and asked, “Do you know any of these songs? I’ve never heard any of this music.” His response, “Some fan you are.”

For the entire three hour concert, I rocked out to awesome, yet foreign, music. How the hell did that happen? The answer involves simple math, which I will attempt to make complicated. My answer is so ridiculous that it might just be the best run-on sentence ever. Scratch that, you have to check out the Run-on Sentence Uncyclopedia page. Now back to my bad sentence…

In between the random-band-member interchanges, breakups and get-back-togethers, The Black Crowes managed to release 13 singles, 12 albums, a box set (which repeated their first four albums and added five extra songs), then take into consideration that they like to re-record and re-release songs, it makes the math kind of hard to do, but I’m guesstimating they’ve released about 187 songs (since they are included in the box set, I excluded their first four albums; if you add them in again, they’ve released 253 songs, 66 of them twice) – herein lies the problem, we own approximately 34 songs or less (James, can you add up the number of songs we owned on the day of that concert and give me an exact figure, please, for the sake of correctness).

To sum up that unnecessary sentence, The Black Crowes released a lot more songs than what we owned at the time. I will never again watch an awesome band perform, while rocking out in total oblivion. For the love of Science H. Lojic, I will never get ‘Black Crowed’ again.

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