30 November 2007

So idiotic, it’s almost genius

Thank you, Dwight, for this awesome idea. If it weren’t for you, I’d still think I’m writing at an idiot’s level. As it turns out, my blog’s readability level is genius!

cash advance


That’s right, genius! I couldn’t believe it either, so I did the test twice and both times it came up genius.

After the shock wore off, one thought popped into my mind:

I’m wearing my underwear inside out.

I know it sounds a little weird, but I was. Sure, tomorrow I’ll remember to check and put them on correctly. But give me about two weeks and I’ll make a trip to the loo only to discover my panties are inside out. Again.

Do genius writers occasionally wear their panties inside out? It appears to be some sort of oxy-moron, like, “If you’re such a genius, why can’t you put your underwear on the right way?”

29 November 2007

Beets Me!

For someone who considers herself to be "not much of a food person," I sure enjoy blogging about food.

Today I read an alarming article about 4 Healthy Foods You Should be Eating. Apparently, I’m doomed.

Beets: Unless I have them confused with something else (radishes, maybe?) I’m pretty sure I hate those things. Okay, I just did a little research and yes, I hate beets. Just as I suspected, those are the red and slimy chicken-innards looking things I have removed from my CPK Cobb Salad (and replaced with extra avocado, please).

Cabbage: The only thing better than cabbage, is a cabbage fart. I love cabbage. But it’s not necessarily a regular part of my diet. I eat it like once a month, or barely; whichever is least.

Guava: Okay, I want to say I’m a huge fan, but I’m not. I’ve tried it a couple of times and it’s just not that great.

Swiss Chard: What the heck is a swiss chard? And are there other nationalities of chard? I’ve never even heard of swiss chard. Obviously, it sounds like swiss cheese, but it’s not cheese. It’s a vegetable.

Swiss chard makes me think of pomegranate.

I like to try new fruits and vegetables, which is why we munched rambutan. Buying a pomegranate entered my mind but it was a fleeting thought. Instantly I realized that I had no idea what a pomegranate is or how you eat one. I thought about the gingerroot or rhubarb or whatever that stuff was I bought that one time, and let it go bad because I wasn’t sure how to eat it.

So I put that dude back and went over to familiar foods.

Bad Days and Good Friends

Everybody has a bad day now and then, but not everybody has a good friend to pick them up.

Thanks, Jessica, for stopping by and bringing me one of those coffee-chocolate blended drinks from St. Louis Bread Co. Mmmmm.

Oh, and the bagel with cream cheese, thanks for that, too.

(I didn’t want to pair that with the Mmmmm comment, since I haven’t actually eaten the bagel yet. I’m saving it for lunch.)

27 November 2007

Me Want Coffee

A long, long time ago, back in early September, I wrote about how I was turning into one of those people, you know, the ones who have to drink coffee to function properly?

I'm on a whole new level of coffee addiction.

Back then I was brewing coffee at 12:45 because I skipped it that morning and I needed some coffee, dammit.

Today I'm brewing coffee at 12:45 because I already drank coffee and it wasn't enough. I need more. Dammit.

Me. Want. Coffee.

...brewed with cinnamon and topped off with a generous helping of French Vanilla creamer, please.

26 November 2007

Bare Naked Ladies (and Gentlemen)

Hallelujah! We’re finally going to cover the naked windows.

To be precise, one window is stark naked while the other one is partially nude.

To keep people from seeing in and to minimize the morning glare on my computer screen, I have pieces of newspaper and notebook paper taped to the window (I’m not joking) that faces the alley.

The other window is totally naked.

And that’s the one looking directly into my neighbor’s bedroom. Before you ask, the answer is yes, that guy still watches porn.

When I wrote about it a couple of months ago I thought the guy was on a porn-watching streak, but it’s routine. I see it all the time, almost daily. He watches an even mix of porn, sports, sports news, and Family Guy. Those are his favorites.

Also, he’s been yelling a lot lately. On Friday he was screaming into the phone for a good 45 minutes, promptly followed by 30 minutes of porn.

I know too much.

And that’s why we’re going to install these things.

25 November 2007

In other thankful news

Our Thanksgiving holiday was perfect. We lucked out with two dinners that weren't crammed together on the same day. We were able to catch up with family, eat great food, and relax (although we both worked on Friday, boooooo).

I must give props to my brother. I'm thankful he made it possible for James and myself to spend two hours playing Guitar Hero. I had a great time even though I had to jam with the gimpy guitar. Not only was it freakishly small designed for a small child, the "rock out" function was broken. That was totally frustrating.

Here I am, rocking you like a hurricane, when suddenly I have to stop strumming and press select. Read that again, "...stop strumming and press select." Yep, that's what true rockers do when they're rocking out, press select. And technically speaking, I wasn't able to simply "press select." I was aiming for select, but half the time I pressed pause instead.

In the end, James took on my dead weight and we beat the game (on easy). Gooooo TEAM!

To top off our weekend of Thanksgiving wonderfulness, I discovered that way back on Thursday the RFT Daily Web Crawl gave me an honorable mention/link. It's nothing really, I'm not even mentioned by name. I'm one of three links in a sentence that reads, "Today there are too many thankful local bloggers to count."

I just get all warm and fuzzy inside when I find links to my blog. Not only am I worth reading, I'm worth mentioning and/or linking to. How cool is that!?

21 November 2007

Thinking about thankfulness

Hopefully at this time tomorrow I will still be sitting around with my pants unzipped, recovering from a well-deserved gorging via Thanksgiving goodies. Besides good food (that I'm not cooking, thanks Mom and Gramma), what else am I thankful for?

I've given this a lot of thought and of course, I had a hard time moving past things like, my awesome husband, my family, my health, my families health, and other traditional/boring answers. Besides the usual, what else is there to be thankful for?

Will Ferrell.

That's right. Will Ferrell.

He always puts a smile on my face.

Check him out with his rough and tough toddler daughter landlord, Pearl. And after you've watched the video, visit the outtakes - they're worth a look-see!

20 November 2007

That feeling

Do you ever get that feeling, the one you get when you're standing in the kitchen and look up at the ceiling only to notice water dripping from a sagging area that looks like it could crack open at any moment? (To help you understand that feeling, realize this particular area of the kitchen ceiling is directly below the toilet in our upstairs and only bathroom.)

Gulp!

Hopefully this incident will not turn into a horrendous-now-but-we'll-look-back-at-this-and-laugh situation.

19 November 2007

7 Things

At some point I planned to copy an idea from someone's blog (can't remember who) where they wrote ‘from A to Z, about me’ (this person actually skipped N, so their Bio should be titled 'A-M and O-Z, about me'). But the longer I procrastinate, the more '26' begins to sound like 'a lot'.

The other day I was tagged by this guy to write 7 Things About Me You Might Not Know. Sounds like a better plan, so I'll just go with a more manageable amount of personal facts: seven. And by the way, like it or love it, I'm actually writing things that you might or might not know about me.

1. For some reason, the spelling, pronouncing and remembering of my first name can only be described as habitually butchered. If someone takes a wild guess at spelling my name I'm lucky if they just leave out an N. It usually ends up looking like Ginett, or Jenet. Even worse, no one can remember my name so I am typically referred to as Jennifer, Janelle, Janis, Gina, and once I got a Lucille. (Jeannette, Lucille. I hear the resemblance.)

2. I drive fast. I can't help it. My parents do it, too, which means I'm genetically inclined to speed. And peel out. And do donuts and e-slides.

3. My car needs new tires. Bad. I know it's a result of what I just said in number two (he he, I said ‘number two’).

4. I was a vegetarian for 14 years. Actually, I was a junk-etarian because yeah, I didn't eat meat, but I also didn't eat fruit or vegetables too often. I became burnt out on salads within the first two years and after that, there's not too much food left in this world - or so I thought at the time. Taco Bell became my staple diet because you can substitute refried beans for meat on almost any menu item.

5. Now that I'm a reformed junk-etarian you might want to ask, what's my favorite meaty food? Steak? Lamb? Chicken? Blah, blah, blah and yuck, yuck, yuck. No thanks, my first choice is a cheeseburger. Mmmm, mmmmm tasty. Or maybe a meatball. One of those two hamburger products. Next in line is a hot dog. That's right, a hot dog. I don't eat them very often and I don't love every brand, but the Cardinal Hot Dog is my favorite. Believe me, I don't understand it myself. I never thought I'd eat an asshole and like it, yet I have. It's all ground up and squished back together into an indescernible texture. Mmmm, yummy... grill me a dog and pass it my way!

6. While we're being gross, you might be interested to know I love a good fart joke.

7. Poop is funny, too.

16 November 2007

Here a MOO, there a MOO

At the suggestion of a graphic designer friend of mine, I made homemade business cards. I bought some perforated paper and tried a whole bunch of fancy fonts, font colors and varied the layout. I printed off several sheets, tore them apart and to make them a little different, I resized them (with a razor, ruler and kitchen cutting board). In the end, they looked, well, like they were cheap little homemade business cards. I hated them. Every time I handed one out I felt embarrassed.

Via my flickr account, I kept seeing ads for MOO MiniCards. The MiniCards are like tiny business cards (maybe 1/3 the size of a normal business card). Besides the little-and-cute factor, I was attracted to the cards because I can decorate them with a photo I've taken. Actually, I can order every single card with a different picture. Cool!

I ordered them and immediately began pacing. Once the estimated arrival date came and went, I became frustrated. Every day I would check the mail, find no MOO cards and exclaim, "Where's my damn MOO cards!?" (Officer, I swear, it was the impatience that drove me to cuss.)

One day I received an email from a guy at MOO (not one of those automatically generated messages, it was from an actual guy named Dan M) that explained what was taking so long. Apparently, when they did a quality check they found a few cards missing. They had no idea which ones were missing (probably because I ordered 38 different designs, literally) so they decided to reprint the order and send me both the complete and incomplete boxes.

It felt like forever, but nine days later my MOO cards arrived! And, duh, you eeediot, the MOO cards had to travel from London. Had I known that, I might not have impatiently waited.

Moral of the story:

The MOO cards are a little expensive, 25 cents each if you include shipping and handling, but they are great quality, very unique and everyone seems to love them. I'm very happy with the cards and they make great conversation.

"Oh that photo, that's where James and I stopped for lunch when we went on a seventeen mile ocean kayaking trip along Na Pali Coast in Kauai."

"Oh that photo, that's a wild chicken."

15 November 2007

Man Man Rocked Rocked

Considering how much I was looking forward to Modest Mouse, I almost hate to say it, but Man Man totally stole the show with their ultra-energetic and circus-like vibe.

------------------------
Now Playing: Man Man - Black Mission Goggles
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14 November 2007

Year of the Mouse

Regardless of what I am doing, I always listen to music. I love discovering new talent and rediscovering music I haven’t heard in a while. James and I share this passion.

Music plays a huge part in our life and it always has, for both of us. Come to think of it, the first purchase we made after I moved in was a computer - specifically to combine our music and attempt to organize our out-of-control CD collection. That task is still not complete.

I digress.

You know that Chinese calendar, the one that assigns an animal to each year? If they used a mouse (as opposed to a rat) 2007 would be its year. And that mouse would be modest.

Wondering what the heck I’m talking about?
Let me get right to the point.

2007 has been the year of Modest Mouse.

I am obsessed.
I can’t get enough.
I listen to them every day.

And tonight my obsession will finally pay off.
I am going to the Pageant to see Modest Mouse!!!

...let's hope I don't get Black Crowed again.

13 November 2007

Ramblings of an Eeediot

I have a habit of taking notes while I’m on the phone. Early in the conversation, part of my brain switches to automatic pilot and I begin to jot down random comments made by myself or the person at the other end of the phone.

This morning I sat down to begin working. And just as I start to shuffle some papers around, I notice a note to self that says:

Do you understand how, what you just said, could totally like, piss me off?

Yep, I said that.

…to someone in my doctor’s office.

I’m an eeediot.

This is merely one example, of many, where I say or do something that is kind of inappropriate. Telling that dude he just pissed me off, followed by a gentle explanation why, was a totally effective tactic. Could I have chosen different words?

Nope. I was really pissed.

08 November 2007

What will they think of next?

Apparently, tainting our toothpaste is a thing of the past. China has moved on to bigger and badder projects, introducing the world to Aqua Dots laced with the date rape drug GHB.

You're probably thinking, "Stop the presses! What on earth is an Aqua Dot?" Apparently they are tiny plastic balls that can be arranged into shapes (probably something girly like a pony or heart). The object is to then spray them with water so they magically stick together.

The kicker is, the same chemical that makes the dots stick together also metabolizes into GHB when ingested. How weird-o is that? If you eat a few Aqua Dots, your body somehow manages to turn them into Gama Hydroxybutyric Acid (GHB).

It seems that today we are buying all sorts of unneccessary crap. And all that junk seems to contain crazy chemicals that yield unpredictable results. Do we really need scientists working feverishly in the lab to invent a substance that, when sprayed with water, will adhere to other like substances?

Probably not.

07 November 2007

Let the food theme continue

Talking about food over the last couple of blogs yielded me quite a few comments and emails. I’ll try to respond to all of them – with some pictures.

Here I go…


Uncle Jemima’s Pure Mash Liquor

My last post included a picture of a beer. A few people asked about it and although a hilarious guess by Dwight Wannabe, I was not drinking Uncle Jemima’s Pure Mash Liquor.

I was drinking a St. Bernardus Abt 12, a Belgian Abby Ale.

True to the slogan (and a 10.5% alcohol content), St. Bernardus does in fact Bring Heavenly Nectar Within Reach.


Spaghetti

I love spaghetti. It is my favorite dinner, mostly because I can have a meatball for breakfast the next day. That’s right; my love for meatballs surpasses my love for spaghetti. This picture shows Sunday night’s dinner (on the left) and Monday morning’s breakfast (one of the meatballs on the right).


Rambutan

Have you ever heard of a Rambutan? What about lychee? Or longan?

I’ve been hooked on lychee since we went to Kauai in June (tasty dudes, they sure are). Ever so often lychee shows up at Trader Joe’s or the Soulard Market, so I’m always on the lookout. On Monday, I spotted an intriguing looking fruit with a spiny exterior - Rambutan. Once I read it was related to the lychee, I was sold.

My humble opinion: It’s a little expensive and a lot of work for a little bit of fruit. But if you love lychee, it’s totally worth the effort.


Homemade Fixins

So you won’t get the wrong impression, there’s more to my diet than frozen pizza, watermelon, coffee and beer. We make a lot of home cooked meals.

Yesterday I made homemade chicken and dumplings. (My friends and family won’t believe me, so of course, I took a few pictures.)



In addition to the dumplings, I also made (from scratch) The Best Fudge Brownies Ever. They really were the best ever!

04 November 2007

More Food

Okay, I might not have the diet of a five year old, but when left to my own devices I definitely eat like a teenager. After having watermelon and coffee for breakfast yesterday morning, I ate a late lunch that consisted of Totino's Mexican Pizza, tater tots covered with a slice of American cheese and a beer.

I'm aware of the possibility that my pizza is contaminated with E. coli, but it's so yummy I ate it anyway. I'll take my chances.

Lunch/Dinner

03 November 2007

Coffee and Watermelon

I had coffee and watermelon for breakfast today.

Coffee and Watermelon

James says I eat like a five year old, but only an adult (me) without other adult supervision (James) eats a breakfast like that.

02 November 2007

The Story of Spaghetti

James is an avid creator of rhyming nicknames. This hobby dates back to his early years as a punk kid. To annoy his younger sister, he called her Julie Poolie the Magical Foolie.

The way Julie explained it, this nickname brought her to a whole new level of pissed-off-ness. She can laugh about it now, but back then a mere utterance of the phrase filled her with intense rage.

Goofy nickname
+ Any reaction
= Way cool and awesome lifelong hobby


Let the nicknaming begin

Nickname is another word for pet name, so I’ll list a few Pet Name Creations a la James.

Our dog, Nico, is also known as Nico Double Bico.
Which was subsequently shortened to Double Bico.
And Bico.
Next evolved Double Stuff.
Then Stuff.
Then Double Stuff Bico.
Double Stinko.
Double Sneako.

Jeannette is a safe name. It doesn’t rhyme with much and I have only twice successfully incorporated 'Jeannette' into a song of some sort. (Okay, this isn’t exactly the same as Nico Double Bico nicknaming, but it’s kind of in the same ballpark parking lot.)

Exhibit A:
Sung to the theme of a Gillette razor commercial
*Jea-nnette!* The best! A man! Can geeet!

Exhibit B:
Sung to the theme of The White Stripes: I’m Lonely (But I Ain’t That Lonely Yet)
She's homely, and she's cranky
And her **name is Jea-nnette**.


*Gillette* was replaced with *Jeannette*.
**Hair's in a net** was replaced with ** name is Jea-nnette**.


What else can you do with Jeannette?

Leave it to a professional to rhyme my name with Spaghetti. It’s simple, really. Just tack on a Long E to the end of my first name and I become Jeannette-E Spaghetti.

If only the E were short for something. Then it can also be like a pen name or something, ya know, Jeannette E. Spaghetti. If only.

I KNOW! Eats! Jeannette Eats Spaghetti!

Sa-WEET! I now have a middle name to go with that middle initial.

Then I wanted to blog.

For a long time I was hesitant because I don’t have a niche. I don’t have one thing that I’m totally motivated by, totally focused on. Everyone seems to be focused on their family, or work, or the news, politics, whatever. I’m the opposite of focus. I’m all over the place. I like a wide variety of topics. I like whatever. And I love Spaghetti.

Jeannette Eats Spaghetti …then blogs about whatever.

I like it.

I might just wear it ‘til it stinks.

01 November 2007

Funny Stuff, Man

At this very moment, someone in the world is sporting a T-shirt that says, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

Turns out, they're wrong.
The saying should read something like this:

Every time you masturbate,
you will be rewarded with a 3 Musketeers candy bar.

The Whack-A-Cock Masturbatory Advent Calendar (WAC-MAC) is one of the funniest things I've seen in quite a while. Thanks, Mental Poo! You've made my day!

I'm Going Un-Pink

Now that we're out of Breast Cancer Month, my blog is going un-pink. The problem is, I don't really have a personal theme and although I've only been blogging since August, I'm already bored with the standard templates.

I've been thinking about contacting a professional. Before I do, does anyone have any advice on what they've done, or who has helped them develop an original look for their blog?

Also, if anyone can tell me why they prefer Blogger over WordPress or any other blogging platform, please do. WordPress seems to be rather popular so I've been thinking of moving my blog over there. Before I do something drastic, it's prolly better to seek out a little advice.

Okey Dokey, new found blogging buddies, comment away.....

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