At this very moment, someone in the world is sporting a T-shirt that says, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."
Turns out, they're wrong.
The saying should read something like this:
Every time you masturbate,
you will be rewarded with a 3 Musketeers candy bar.
The Whack-A-Cock Masturbatory Advent Calendar (WAC-MAC) is one of the funniest things I've seen in quite a while. Thanks, Mental Poo! You've made my day!