18 December 2007

12 Random Christmas Facts

I was tagged to write 12 random things about myself relating to Christmas. The tag included three other rules:

2. Please refer to this tag as ‘hoopla’.
3. Specifically tag others.
4. Do this as quickly as possible.

I’m breaking the rules:

1. In lieu of 12 boring facts, you're getting one interesting story.
2. No, I won’t.
3. I feel weird doing that, so I’m not tagging others.
4. I’ll take my sweet ass time, thanks.

Sorry, Charlie, it looks like I’m not doing anything remotely similar to what I was originally asked.

Oh well, here goes…

I believe it was 1991. I was a freshman in high school and it was Christmas Eve morning. My dad took me to this little hole-in-the-wall movie rental place, Q-mart, with a specific mission: return home with Faces of Death IV (for us) and A Muppet Family Christmas (for my mom and probably my brother because he was 8 – a little too young for Faces of Death).

My dad walks up to the counter…

My Dad: You got ‘Faces of Death IV’?

Clerk: Yes.

My Dad: CooOOOoooolll!

Clerk (to himself): Dude. It’s Christmas. WTF?

My dad: You got that ‘Muppet Family Christmas’ bullshit?

Clerk: Yes.

My Dad (disappointed): FUCK!!! (pause) *sigh* We’ll get both.

There is nothing cooler than being with your dad on Christmas Eve while he rents Muppets and Faces of Death, then defends the Muppet movie rental (as if it's weird) by saying, “my wife wanted it.”

Meanwhile, the guy is staring at my dad like, “Dude. It’s Christmas and you’re renting Faces of Death. I don’t mean to be rude, but what the hell?

Listening to: Nil8 - The Insanity of Drayton Sawyer and His Hallucination of Love Brought on by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II


  1. Whatever Lynette (ha!) - I'm just happy you participated at all. I always fear being "that guy" that has to ask people to do memes and then gets rejected like "WTF? No I am NOT doing your stupid meme. Jeezus."

    And um, I have a funny story about A Muppet Family Christmas. I will post it soon.

  2. OK what's wrong with watching the muppets......:):):)

  3. That's AWESOME.

    As, you know, nothing says "Merry Christmas" like sitting around the fire, watching a video where a monkey is beaten to death by people with little hammers.

    I'm getting all teary eyed just thinking of the sentiment.

  4. Faces of Death? Wow. I can't recall seeing a copy of that since the early 80's. Back then I was working in a mom & pop video store and we kept FoD and porn in a back room. That was a very popular back room!

  5. Your dad is awesome.

  6. I still have nightmares about that video.... those muppets are scary!!

  7. your dad's cool! haha

    but i love the muppets so i'd rather watch that than faces of death :D



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