06 December 2007

DUDE!

I cracked open my handy dandy RFT and right there on page 8 is the Local Blog O' the Week: Jeannette Eats Spaghetti!

HOLY FUCK!

Okay, Jeannette E, get a fucking grip. This isn’t anything to get all excited over. Then again, HOLY FUCK! People are reading my ramblings!

That’s right, I said it, the F word. Three times.

You see, in normal conversation I speak like a dude. Specifically, I cuss all the time. And there’s one lesson we’ve all learned in finishing school, cussing is sooo un-ladylike. Also, today’s society holds each person accountable to the highest of moral standards (not) and who knows what kind of ill effect my foul mouth will have on today’s youth.

And thus, I feel like I should censor myself in my blog. In the past I would criticize myself when I’d cuss, thinking, “Hey, dumbass, can’t you come up with anything more intelligent than ‘fuckface?’ At least call that fucker a jerk.”

Doug, I learned something today. I learned that, if used properly, cussing can show emotion, thereby enhancing the spirit and mood of a conversation (or blog). From now on, I’m going to cuss it up. That’s right. It’s my blog and I’ll cuss if I want to, cuss if I want to, cuss if I want to. You would cuss too, if it happened to you.

Dear Today's Youth, get the fuck off my blog so I can speak the way my mom intended: with a potty mouth.

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, that’s right, I became sidetracked after exclaiming HOLY FUCK! My blog made it into the printed edition of the RFT! Sweet!

I’ll probably discover that my mom is the mastermind behind Local Blog O’ the Week.

On her deathbed she’ll confess, “Jeannette, face it, this blog thing isn’t going anywhere. *cough* Nobody gives a crap about what you’re writing. *cough cough* I was behind that whole ‘blog o’ the week’ business back in 2007. It’s just that *cough* you’re an eeediot and your blog never had any direction. *cough* You needed a little ego boost. And I felt sorry for you.”

What the hell am I so excited for anyway? It’s only the RFT. It’s just like, an honorable mention and nothing more. Besides, my mom was behind it all along.

15 comments:

  1. It's fun isn't it? I was blog of the week like, 2 years ago, but it was a proud moment to say the least.

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  2. I've never gotten blog-o-anything and I write FUCK all the time!

    What the fuck?!

    I know I'm not local, but can you put in a good word at the RFT for me?

    Thanks in-ad-fucking-vance.

    (smoothly working the f-word into that one).

    Your soulmate,

    Moooooog

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  3. congrats! That's fucking awesome! :)

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  4. congratulations, and thanks for stopping in Cairdeas today. Just read some of your recent posts...good stuff.

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  5. Mmmm, Cairdeas.

    Pass me another one of those frozen-and-blended-with-chocolate coffee drink things. Please.

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  6. So I'm sitting here with Julien and he's reading your blog and then he says, "AAAWWWWW!!! That says...ffffffff....Hello FUCK!" Way to turn my child into a potty mouth. Just joking we've had a problem with this for a while. Congratulations again!!! Even if it was your mom who nominated you. ;^)

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  7. Hey Potty-Mouth!!! If I remember correctly your DAD is the one who taught you how to cuss, I'm just the one who encouraged your writing. BTW I still have the first 'book' you wrote about the Rainbow Family if you'd like to see how much you've progressed.
    Congratulations on getting into the RFT!! I'm just grateful its not from one of the ads...
    Love, Ma

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  8. You cuss, too. Remember the other day when you couldn't find that hair bow and you said, "Aw FUCK!"?

    I have no idea what book you're talking about, so yes, I'd like to see it. For some reason, I assumed that we had zero pictures or anything from when I was kid.

    I thought all of my childhood memorabilia had been burned by dad. (Not out of anger - he just likes to burn stuff. Fire is cool, yo.)

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  9. I have a whole trunk full of things from when you & CJ were growing up. The only way to keep them from getting burned up was to hide them.
    Talked to your dad ~ he says 'Fuckin' Way to Go!!!' and he wants the credit for teaching you how to make a sailor blush!

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  10. kim @ http://archphoenix.wordpress.com06 December, 2007 23:03

    Hey hey! Fun! Congrats!

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  11. Congrats on the RFT thing. I've been lurking for a while, but this is my first comment.

    I think I need to start adding FUCK to my blogposts, too. But then if my mom ever got a computer and went on the internet, she would faint from shame once she read it.

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  12. Thanks, KC!

    Luckily for me, my parents are okay with my foul mouth!

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  13. Just saw it yesterday when I picked up the RFT. Congratulations!

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  14. Congrats...And this article had me laughin' so hard I was near cryin'

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