10 December 2007

Oh Christmas tree, you suck

It doesn’t feel like Christmas. And it’s totally my fault because I decided against putting up a Christmas tree. (Seriously, folks, it’s a lot of work for just the two of us.)

In lieu of a tree, I hung up this goofy candle in the front window and this wreath on the back door.

Look closely at the wreath, my mom made it.

Anyway, I decided that putting up a Christmas tree would cure my holiday blues. “Putting up the tree” turned out to be the total opposite of fun: it sucked.

The suckage began with one of those funny feelings. It came while I was dragging out the boxes of Christmas crap, “wasn’t there something wrong with our Christmas lights? Maybe there are a few burned out or something?”

Ah, yes.

Once I plugged them in the problem became clear: they’re broken.

One strand was totally dead while the other was divided into three segments: half were not working, one-quarter were constantly on and the other quarter flashed. I spent about 20 minutes changing fuses and replacing bulbs, but the status of my lights remained the same: broken.

I tried to run out and buy new lights, but my car is frozen shut and my front tire is low; another roadblock standing between me and a season of joy.


Notice there aren’t any wrapped presents near the tree.

Yep, two weeks from today I will be at my parents exchanging gifts and I haven’t bought a thing.


  1. Very funny stuff you're writing!

    The tree stuff is WAY more fun when you have kids. You just have to drag the crap out. They will throw it all on the tree. It doesn't look too great, but at least you didn't have to do it!!!!!

  2. You can still use the half-broken lights...I do it all the time...chuck the broken ones, and use the half-broken ones and the full working ones.

    If I chucked out the half-broken ones every year...I'd end up having NO lights at all.

    ..which is actually a great idea...as I HATE putting those damn things up.



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