04 January 2008

Let's get ready to ramble

The other day, Tojosan left a comment that began, “Fun little ramble.” To which I replied, “Dude, some people are born to rumble; I was born to ramble.”

That statement is so true.

I’m a rambler.

I was thinking about this brief conversation earlier today as I poured coffee all over the counter. And this next part will sound weird since I am 29 (and a half), but for reasons I can’t explain, I’m the worst pourer ever.

“Worst Pourer Ever” isn’t exactly proper English, so let me clarify.

Every freaking time I attempt to pour a liquid from one container into another, I make a mess. Water, tea, coffee, wine, margaritas, Jager-shots, they all give me trouble when I pour them. Sure, most of it lands in the glass or shot glass, but a sizable amount also runs down the side of the pitcher/wine or liquor bottle and onto the table, counter or floor, whichever happens to be in the line of gravity.

The other day I complained about my pouring problem and James revealed the source, “You don’t have enough pouring experience.”

What!?

Dude!?

I’m almost 30.
At this point, I’ve been pouring things for most of my life. We might be able to rule out “lack of experience” as the culprit.

I’m just an eeediot.

Whatever my problem is, it’s probably caused by the same thing that makes it virtually impossible for me to measure volume from one shape to another.

I’ll explain this one, too.

Let’s say I’m about to put some leftover meatballs into a Tupperware container. For some reason, I always pick a container that’s about twice the size of what I actually need. This one really isn’t a big deal, but after years and years of this, I’ve realized that I’m not getting any better at grasping the concept of volume.

I’m also really bad at hammering nails.

I don’t usually smash my fingers. Instead, I bend nails and knock holes in the walls. It’s a very ineffective hammering technique, I know.

When I moved out of my apartment and in with James, I thought for sure my landlord was going to at least ask me why there were multiple, large holes all over my walls (formerly hidden behind pictures). It looked like I went crazy one night and attacked my walls with a hammer. Of course, that didn’t happen.

Then again, if I went crazy, I probably blacked out afterward.

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Listening to: Modest Mouse - Tundra/Desert
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8 comments:

  1. so very classic - I am actually very good at the whole pourer thing, and hammers and nails, now I suck at coverage - like anything that requires tha tyou cover a certian amount of space - for instance painting, or lotion, I always miss a area.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My gosh you are a rambler! I just came from your other site :D

    Amazing rambling skills ... so my question is, do you still talk a lot after writing or is this it?

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  3. @traveller

    ...Is this it? HECK NO!

    I have to cut myself off.

    I could really go on and on about absolutely nothing. I don't ever seem to have a point.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @raquita

    I'm actually good at coverage.

    I'm a great painter. I have lotion applying skillz. I rarely miss spots when I shave (except the other day I cut myself bad and was like, I'm done. F this. No more shaving. And I just stopped).

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  5. You made me feel so much better about my pouring skills. Ha. Thanks for the mention! I'll comment more often now.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's the little things in life, like pouring skills, that we take for granted.

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  7. Don't drink and pour?

    As for us, Mimi has no sense of space and orientation whatsoever. She can get lost in a bathtub.

    ReplyDelete

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