Jeannette does not eat sushi

Little known fact: I have not puked since I was eight years old. That incident involved Pantera's Pizza and a ride home in the back of Ellen's dad's truck. It was like shaking up a bottle of soda just before twisting off the top, only instead of soda, I ejected half-digested pizza.

For about the next five or six years, from time-to-time I'd pretend I had puked so I could take a sick day from school. I stopped faking it once I realized that it was unusual for someone to go for years at a time without blowing chunks. I'm now 30 and have gone for 22 years without tossing my cookies, barfing, upchucking, hurling, liquid burping, or whatever you call it; I do not pray to the porcelain god.

The closest I've come to destroying my non-vomiting streak was the day before my 28th birthday. I had recently ended a fourteen year stint as a vegetarian junketarian and in taste-testing a variety of new foods, I decided to try sushi. The first piece was questionable, but I tried a second one. That time, I did the whole motion where you like, lurch forward and grab your mouth because some sort of violent energy is trying to escape. I'm proud to say that I did not puke.

But I will never eat sushi, ever, again.

To make up for my sushi-less diet I read Gorilla Sushi. You can, too. Stop by and check out today's caption contest, featuring one of MySelf Portraits!