23 November 2008

RanDUMB survey for the hell of it

Surveys... the lazy-woman's blog.

Is your secon​d toe longe​r than your first​?​ No, but I can pinch with my toes. Watch out!

Do you have a favor​ite type of pen? Gel pens for writing; Ball point for doodling and drawing.

Look at your plann​er for March​ 14, what are you doing​?​ I don't have a planner and I don't have a plan. But my Aunt's birthday is then, so I'll probably get in touch with her that day.

What color​ are your toena​ils usual​ly?​ Toena​il color​; right now I am sporting leftover-red from Halloween

What was the last thing​ you highl​ighte​d?​ My hair - Hot Hot Pink

What color​ are your bedro​om curta​ins?​ I actually don't have a bedroom at this time.

What color​ are the seats​ in your car? Grey or Gray. I can never remember how to spell it.

Have you ever had a black​ and white​ cat? Nope; well, Goliath was mostly black and white, but also other colors

What is the last thing​ you put a stamp​ on? an envel​ope.​.​.​ where​ else do stamp​s go?

Do you know anyon​e who lives​ in Wyomi​ng?​ I wish I lived in Wyoming. It is bee-you-tee-full

Why did you withd​raw cash from the ATM the last time?​ Becau​se I wante​d money​,​ fucki​ng duh.

Who is the last baby that you held?​ My aunt's boyfriend's daughter's baby, Lilly.

Do you know of any twins​ with rhymi​ng names​?​ unfortunately, no

Do you like Cinna​mon tooth​paste​?​ only if I'm not going to use mouthwash afterward

What kind of car were you drivi​ng 2 years​ ago? the same car I have now - '04 mustang

Pick one: Miami​ Hurri​canes​ or Flori​da Gator​s.​ fuck 'em both

Last time you went to Six Flags​?​ the last day they were open for this season (thank you, Terra)

Do you have any wallp​aper in your house​?​ I don't have a place of my own

Close​st thing​ to you that is yello​w:​ dying flowers

Last perso​n to give you a busin​ess card?the dude at the stereo place

Who is the last perso​n you wrote​ a check​ to? fuck if I know

Close​st frame​d pictu​re to you? a black/white old school photo of a random crowd

Last time you had someo​ne cook for you? Last night, actually. Granted, he was cooking for four others and I got a last minute invite, but still, I wasn't the cook

Have you ever appli​ed for welfa​re?​ No

How many email​s do you have?​ read or unread?

Last time you recei​ved flowe​rs/​flowe​r?​ virtual flowers or real ones?

Do you think​ the sanct​ity of marri​age is meant​ for only a man & woman​?​ no, it's for two peopl​e that love each other​!!!

What are you liste​ning to right​ now? bar music

Do you play air guita​r?​ no, but I play Guita​r Hero when it is available

Do you have any Willo​w Tree figur​ines?​ what. the. fuck. is a willo​w tree figur​e?​

What is your high schoo​l'​s rival​ masco​t?​ fuck if I know; that was forever-ago

Who is the last perso​n you talke​d to from high schoo​l?​ Jill ​

Last time you used hand sanit​izer?​ I wash my hands​ in lieu of hand sanitazation

Would​ you like to learn​ to play the drums​?​ no, yes, maybe; I'd rather play guitar

What color​ are the blind​s in your livin​g room?​ I don't have a living room of my own

What is in your inbox​ at work?​ n/a

Last thing​ you read in the newsp​aper?​ I haven't looked at a newspaper lately

What was the last pagea​nt you atten​ded?​ Come to think of it - it was some sort of Drag Queen Pageant near Tacoma, WA a few years ago.

What is the last place​ you bough​t pizza​ from?​ The grocery store

Have you ever worn a crown​?​ Kind of, it was more like a clip though

What is the last thing​ you stapl​ed?​ papers together

Did you ever drink​ clear​ Pepsi​?​ hell no; fuck all that noise

Are you tickl​ish?​ I can be. I can also be punch-you-in-the-face-ish if you try to tickle me, Elmo.

Last time you saw firew​orks?​ 4 July 08

Last time you had a Krisp​y Kreme​ dough​nut?​ dunno​,​ Krispy Kreme sucks donkey balls

Who is the last perso​n that left you a messa​ge on your cell?​ my bro

Last time you parke​d under​ a carpo​rt?​ I parked my mom's car under a carport a few weeks ago, does that count?

Do you have a black​ dog? no - she's blonde

Do you have any pickl​es in your fridg​e?​ No fridge

How long have they been there​?​? n/a - does that question necessitate two question marks?

Who has the prett​iest eyes that you know of? I never notice eyes, but Geoff's answer is BAD ASS: Jnet has aweso​me eyes (thanks Geoff!)

Last time you saw a semi truck​?​ today​

Do you remem​ber Ugly Kid Joe? Unfortunately, yes

Do you have a littl​e black​ dress​?​ I have two; both are cocktail dresses and sparkley - but different shapes and different looks

Listening to: I wish I knew, but I have no idea - random bar music

09 November 2008

I am horrible at playing tag

Usually when I'm tagged for a meme, I never get around to responding. I enjoy being tagged, but for some reason I rarely answer the tag. Neglect? Laziness? Lack of words? I'm a total bitch and deny invitations? It's one of those unanswered questions in life.

Rebecca tagged me because Courtney tagged her. I believe once Courtney tagged me and I never responded, as did Baol.

Fuck the rules. I'm gonna write seven randumb things about myself and if I break the rules, I guess Rebecca can give me a swirly or shove me in a locker.

Sieben Randumb facts about me:

Eine: I'm bloated. Yes, I am 5' 7" and weigh roughly 115 pounds and it's somehow still possible to be bloated. WTF?

Zwei: I didn't poop today. Probably because I pooped a lot yesterday.

Drei: I love fart jokes. But I don't like actual farting. Farts are funnier in theory than reality.

Vier: Once I dressed up in chicken feathers, climbed to the top of my roof and sang God Save The Queen in French. That's what the cops tell me, anyway; I have no recollection of this incident.

Fünf: I hate green beans. HATE them. I wish they would become extinct, somehow.

Sechs: If I had to live on an island where I could grow only ONE food, it would be avocado.

Sieben: My brother would do anything for me, as I'd do anything for him. He's hilarious and one of the most creative and mechanically gifted people I've known. I feel incredibly lucky to have him in my life.

Listening to: White Stripes - Hotel Yorba

05 November 2008

Told Ya So

My day started out normal, but sometime around 4:30 my parents' dogs, Charley and Otis, got into a really bad fight and I was the only one home. It took a good 5-7 minutes to break it up and I got bit by them quite a few times.

They've fought before, but not like this. I have no idea what started their fight. They must have found a bone, or something, and maybe fought over that? Luckily I was here to break it up because I'm quite certain that Charley wanted to kill Otis.

It was CRAZY.

I could NOT get Charley off of Otis. I tried yelling and I kept pulling Charley off and then before Otis could get up, Charley would start attacking him (and/or me) again and again. Charley was biting his face, ears, eyes, nose, neck....

I was yelling like a maniac. I couldn't find a hose to squirt them, but I doubt that would've helped. During my panic, I grabbed one of those BBQ scraper things and was smacking Charley's butt with that, but Dr. Flaum said that likely just egged him on.

I just kept pulling Charley off and kind of moving them closer toward the garage. Eventually I got Charley held back long enough for Otis to get inside and he ran to the other side of the car. I grabbed Charley and carried him out (I have no idea how I could even pick him up) then closed the door so he couldn't go in after Otis.

It was fucking insane.

I'm going to be sore tomorrow.

They both had to go to the vet and Otis had to spend the night. It looks like the both of them only have puncture wounds, not lacerations. But one of Charley's bite marks is near his "wrist" and an infection in a joint is bad news, so we have to keep an eye on it.

Two dogs fighting, each weighing around 75 pounds, plus one me (trying to break it up), and weighing around 115 pounds, equals me getting my ass kicked.

One of my fingers got bit really good, there's a small chunk of flesh hanging out from it. Thankfully it's flesh and not a tendon. A couple other fingers were bitten and are already swollen and bruised. My right arm hurts and Charley bit me HARD on the back of my left thigh; luckily I was wearing blue jeans or I'd be missing flesh and muscle.

My pants were covered in their blood so they're now in the wash.

Day 147: My pants got bloody from breaking up a dog fight

See, I told ya: every. day. something. fucked. up. happens. to. me.

Watching: Super Troopers

04 November 2008

I'm totally bitching venting

For the last few weeks I've wanted to write a positive post that focuses on the many great and happy things that have happened since my life got turned upside-down in early September - and then a second time about two weeks ago. I won't go into the details, but believe me, these last two months have been hell.

I've been hesitant to write a happy post because it will give James the wrong impression; he thinks I'm out having a blast and living the good life since I've abandoned and betrayed him, leaving him to suffer in disbelief. That's a total mind-fuck for me, because he takes no responsibility for his actions and the way he treated me behind closed doors. I won't list any specifics because as it stands, he'll be pissed about these first two paragraphs.

My point is: every. fucking. day. something. fucked. up. happens. to. me.

Sunday I spent most of the day with my ex-husband, Travis, and his girlfriend, Shandee. (I know that's kind of weird, but Trav and I have always been great friends and his girlfriend is awesome, too.) Sometime after dark I went outside with Trav's old roommate, Dave. We were chilling in some lawn chairs, looking at the stars and talking for more than an hour when one of Trav's cats, Bella, came walking past. So I picked her up for a cuddle.

Suddenly my pants were SOAKED. I thought she peed, but Dave was like, "Dude, there's cat cum all over you!!!" Dave was right; it wasn't pee. Bella did "it" with Big Black -- a stray cat with gigantic balls. Thankfully Bella is spayed, but she still likes a good effing from time to time.

Big Black came ALL OVER her. So when I picked up Bella and put her in my lap, the cum on her back, belly and head got rubbed all over my pants and jacket. Dave went inside and found me a different pair of pants and I put my cat-cum-soaked jacket in the trunk of my car.

On Monday, when I took Trav's pants back to him he exclaimed, "I can't believe you wore those nasty fuckers! I worked in those and they were COVERED in ball sweat!!!" I was like, "Great. I slept in your ball-sweat pants and a t-shirt with cat-cum on it."

Nice. Aren't I sexy???

Before I returned Trav's pants I went to Arby's. While going through the drive through, I majorly curb-checked. By the time I got home I forgot about it.

This has been my Tuesday.,..

The first thing I did this morning was walk out to check on my car and not only did I scratch my wheels all to hell, there's a chunk of rubber missing from the side of my tire. These WERE brand new tires. (My brother just informed me that my tire is a safety hazard and we'll have to get me a new one THIS WEEK.)

After discovering my tire was messed up, I thought it would be a happy-fun-time to wrestle with the three dogs. In the process I got majorly head-butted, glasses bent to hell, and I have a bruise and scratches next to my eye. I went to a professional and had my glasses bent back, but when I fold them up they're way screwey.... but they're even on my face. So whatever.

Of course, they are my favorite pair of glasses.

On my way to the glasses place, I was driving down the highway with my windows open, and one of my vent-things (for a/c and heat) just flew out the window. So instead of a vent, I now have a hole.

THEN, I was switching CDs in my car and my CD player jammed up. No CDs will eject, the thing is just open and I can see them jammed in there. I GO INSANE WITHOUT MUSIC. So now, I will be driving around with my laptop, using my headphones.

Life is peachy.

I promise my next post will be more positive and I will discuss some of the fun things my family has done for me -- they're working very hard to cheer me up. I've had a lot of support from family and friends and without all of them, I would likely be staying at the mental institution on Arsenal.

Listening to: Tub Ring -- Get Help (NOW!)


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