04 November 2008

I'm totally bitching venting

For the last few weeks I've wanted to write a positive post that focuses on the many great and happy things that have happened since my life got turned upside-down in early September - and then a second time about two weeks ago. I won't go into the details, but believe me, these last two months have been hell.

I've been hesitant to write a happy post because it will give James the wrong impression; he thinks I'm out having a blast and living the good life since I've abandoned and betrayed him, leaving him to suffer in disbelief. That's a total mind-fuck for me, because he takes no responsibility for his actions and the way he treated me behind closed doors. I won't list any specifics because as it stands, he'll be pissed about these first two paragraphs.

My point is: every. fucking. day. something. fucked. up. happens. to. me.

Sunday I spent most of the day with my ex-husband, Travis, and his girlfriend, Shandee. (I know that's kind of weird, but Trav and I have always been great friends and his girlfriend is awesome, too.) Sometime after dark I went outside with Trav's old roommate, Dave. We were chilling in some lawn chairs, looking at the stars and talking for more than an hour when one of Trav's cats, Bella, came walking past. So I picked her up for a cuddle.

Suddenly my pants were SOAKED. I thought she peed, but Dave was like, "Dude, there's cat cum all over you!!!" Dave was right; it wasn't pee. Bella did "it" with Big Black -- a stray cat with gigantic balls. Thankfully Bella is spayed, but she still likes a good effing from time to time.

Big Black came ALL OVER her. So when I picked up Bella and put her in my lap, the cum on her back, belly and head got rubbed all over my pants and jacket. Dave went inside and found me a different pair of pants and I put my cat-cum-soaked jacket in the trunk of my car.

On Monday, when I took Trav's pants back to him he exclaimed, "I can't believe you wore those nasty fuckers! I worked in those and they were COVERED in ball sweat!!!" I was like, "Great. I slept in your ball-sweat pants and a t-shirt with cat-cum on it."

Nice. Aren't I sexy???

Before I returned Trav's pants I went to Arby's. While going through the drive through, I majorly curb-checked. By the time I got home I forgot about it.

This has been my Tuesday.,..

The first thing I did this morning was walk out to check on my car and not only did I scratch my wheels all to hell, there's a chunk of rubber missing from the side of my tire. These WERE brand new tires. (My brother just informed me that my tire is a safety hazard and we'll have to get me a new one THIS WEEK.)

After discovering my tire was messed up, I thought it would be a happy-fun-time to wrestle with the three dogs. In the process I got majorly head-butted, glasses bent to hell, and I have a bruise and scratches next to my eye. I went to a professional and had my glasses bent back, but when I fold them up they're way screwey.... but they're even on my face. So whatever.

Of course, they are my favorite pair of glasses.

On my way to the glasses place, I was driving down the highway with my windows open, and one of my vent-things (for a/c and heat) just flew out the window. So instead of a vent, I now have a hole.

THEN, I was switching CDs in my car and my CD player jammed up. No CDs will eject, the thing is just open and I can see them jammed in there. I GO INSANE WITHOUT MUSIC. So now, I will be driving around with my laptop, using my headphones.

Life is peachy.

I promise my next post will be more positive and I will discuss some of the fun things my family has done for me -- they're working very hard to cheer me up. I've had a lot of support from family and friends and without all of them, I would likely be staying at the mental institution on Arsenal.

Listening to: Tub Ring -- Get Help (NOW!)


  1. Ok, the cat story is hilarious. Because it happened to someone else.

    Get an iPod shuffle - they're cheap, hold 1GB of music, small, etc.

    *hugs* It will get better!

  2. Yay you are on again! That cat story is pretty funny :P

    Things will get better Jnet :)

  3. ohmygod, girl. . . it is always something, isn't it? you crack me up, but i'm feeling awfully bad giggling at some of the stuff. the rest of it just plain sucks big hairy balls.


  4. OMG, that is some freaky shit you got going on. Seriously? Cat cum?

    I would say it could be worse, but really, that's pretty bad.


  5. You're making this up! Part of it anyway.

  6. I'm not even sure what to say.
    Sounds like the day, month, year from hell.

    I hope things start looking up for you soon. I miss you photos and blogs.

  7. Bad news: cat cum. Wow. Just, wow.

    Good news: Obama. Wow. Just, wow.

    Miss you.

  8. Oh, dude, I was eating lunch when I read that. Ewww!

  9. Hilarious and disgusting! Perfection, miss you!

  10. Who do I see about withdrawing my last ten bitches about my supposed "bad day"s?

    Great googelty-moogelty.

    Steve Allen said that the nature of comedy is someone else's tragedy. Uhm... You actually maxed out the tragedy part past the point where it stopped being funny.

    Chick, I wish you the quick karma turnaround you are so desperately owed.

  11. ... skanks stink?

    Call me. :)



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