30 March 2008

Carry on, my wayward son

…To-Be-Continuing the much anticipated Post-It saga

Group Two: Things People Say

There it is, written loud and clear: Mexican Penis.

And that’s exactly how the words came out – loud and clear.

During and after high school I worked in a pet store called, The Pet Store (true story). Either Jeff or Nate was making a lunch run to Taco Hell and when it came time for me to speak my order, I said “Mexican Penis” instead of “Mexican Pizza.” …In front of the only three dudes I worked with, including the owner.

I have no idea why I wrote that down because it happened so long ago, but I regularly write down things people say.

Things People Say


Group Three: Random Reminders

This very random group includes phone numbers and names (people to call or visit), upcoming concerts (things to do), book titles (stuff to read, duh), random questions (it’s a twitter thing), origami ideas (paper folding), blog ideas (self-explanatory), grocery needs (food stuffs to buy) and so on.

Boring, I know.

Random Reminders


Group Four: Blog Searches

I can’t explain why, but I am totally fascinated with the things people search for when they land on my blog.

Searches for Na Pali and Machine Gun Leg Chic have remained popular and I regularly have Fart on Command searches, too, but by far, the most popular search term is something along the lines of Totally Naked Middle-Aged Neighbor Ladies.

Still, there are a few curious one-of-a-kind searches:

- ben wa ball walmart
- mushrooms urine odor
- pomegranate juice make me fart
- spaghetti on breast picture
- pictures of gross naked ladies
- I’m not a lesbian, but I porn
- a gnat flew past

People are so weird.

Things people search for


Group Five: Huh?

Typically, when I come across a note-to-self, I immediately remember why the note was written. That’s not always the case. Written on the same piece of paper are the words:

Clean Desk
Get Organized
Make Plans
Set Goals
You Bich

Um, You Bich? Where’d that come from? AND it’s misspelled!?

It took from Thursday to Sunday, but I suddenly remembered it technically belongs to the “things people say” group. My friend made a funny joke about the prospect of me receiving an angry drunken comment, whereby my hater would call out, slurring in their writing, “You bich!

Huh?


Moral of the story: Post-Its have allowed me to remember a lot of things I would normally forget.

Self, take a note (on a Post-It of course):
Shred Post-Its and use a notebook instead.

Moral of the Story

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Listening to: Judas Priest - British Steel
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27 March 2008

Obsessive Compulsive Post-It Disorder

I use Post-Its to gather random thoughts, ideas and conversations that pass my way – useful and useless alike.

Some of the Post-Its serve their purpose and then I send them to the shredder. Many of them I simply hang on to until I decide the information is outdated, unimportant, or otherwise useless.

So, what kind of crap am I hanging on to?

A few of my Post Its


Group One: Recipes

When trying a new recipe, my strategy is to search online and pick about eight recipes to use as models so I can create my own. I jot my recipe on a few Post-Its and hang the notes together on a kitchen cabinet for easy viewing. Once I make the recipe a few times and have it somewhat perfected, I transfer it to Word. (Then I can print it out and tape it to the cabinet while cooking.)

When I wrote the post about chili, I think I proofread it seven times before I realized something was wrong... it seemed like a lot of food. By the time I added in two pounds of meat, four cans of beans and four cans of tomatoes, it appeared there wouldn’t be enough room in the crock pot to fit six large potatoes, six carrots, four celery stalks, two large onions, a bunch of mushrooms and two cups of peas.

After some online research, I realized that I had part of a stew recipe mixed in with the chili.

Yes, I actually transferred the recipe to Word, incorporated it into a blog, proofread it seven times, had a feeling something was wrong, then Googled “chili recipe” and looked at two or three recipes before realizing my mistake. Eeediot.

A recipe for disaster
Luckily I did not cook this recipe for a disasterous meal.


...To be continued...

I know you're thinking, “Is she seriously To-Be-Continuing a freaking story about Post-It notes!?”

I am totally for serious.

This blog started to feel a bit ramble-y, even for my standards.

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Listening to: NIL8 – Hollywood Babylon
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25 March 2008

Broken Sunglasses, Origami, Yoga, Chili and Polka Dot Shoes

Since last Thursday, I’ve been slacking on everything, including my blog posts. What has been going on with me?

For starters, I broke my sunglasses Thursday night. Apparently, they weren’t meant to fall and land on Best Buy’s concrete floor.

My Poor Sunglasses

I grocery shopped and went to yoga on Friday. I spent the majority of yoga in a cold sweat and afterward, well, I was done for the night.

I had the perfect chance to post a blog on Saturday, but instead I spent the day folding origami. I made two tiny Japanese Brocades, a strawberry, and several moo card wallets.

So happy together
Origami Strawberry
Origami Moo Card Wallet

On Sunday we visited with my parents and brother.

My mom likes sun catchers

Then I came home and uploaded photos from the St. Patrick’s Day parade.

Looking toward Forest Park

Yesterday I got new tires, had a great yoga session, and then got caught up on laundry.

Taking my new tires for a test drive

I spent this morning cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning while breaking in these polka dot shoes. Around lunch time I made chili and then cleaned up the mess.

These veggies sure look tasty

And now, while I write this blog, I’m drinking lots of water for yoga at 5pm.

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Listening to: NIL8 - Parody of a Parody
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20 March 2008

Young lady, WHERE have you been?

And why is Easter so early this year?

I knew it had something to do with the moon, but this explanation is much better than what I could possibly provide. Okay, you caught me. I could totally explain it but I’m being lazy about it short on time.

Whoa, totally ignoring the topic at hand. Sorry, dudes.

I haven’t posted a single blog in one week. I’ve also rarely commented on others’ blogs. Besides twittering almost daily, my Jeannette 2.0 days went on sabbatical.
Or something like that.

Where have I been?

I’m going to blame both my prolonged absence and the early arrival of Easter on the moon.

I’ve spent a lot of time simply trying to recover from shock of, again, being screwed out of payment for text I’ve written. I really want to elaborate about the situation on my blog, but haven’t decided if that’s a good move or not. Is it a bad idea? Anyone interested in hearing me spin a yarn? Better yet, anyone need a writer? Or want to hire me for something?

I should digress before I start down the path of a horrid rant, akin to drunk blogging.

Subject Change

I’ve determined that Twittering enables the slacker within me to escape. At the same time, it’s a useful reminder of a few things that have happened lately. Like, I got vaccinated against pneumonia and meningitis but didn’t get a lousy t-shirt, went to yoga several times, had a days-long James Bond marathon, visited with the in-laws, celebrated St. Patrick’s Day and took a road trip to see Man Man (the show was fantastic. I had a great time, was highly entertained and can’t wait for another opportunity to see them).

So that’s where I’ve been.

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Listening to: a bunch of NIL8
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13 March 2008

Hot Cock Sauce

Why do I call this stuff Hot Cock Sauce?

Hot Cock Sauce

Mostly because I have no idea how to pronounce Sriracha.

What do you call it?

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Listening to: NIL8 - Zombie Slut
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10 March 2008

More NIL8

Somebody filmed the NIL8 concert on Saturday night!
Check it out!

After watching the video, you may understand why my ears were ringing for two days after the show.

Now Playing: Nothing to Laugh About



So at about 50 seconds into the song you will see me take a picture, put my camera down then start dancing, though it looks more like I'm just bobbing my head around. About thirty seconds later you see me, taking more photos. I took a ridiculous amount of pictures, though I only posted about half of them.

07 March 2008

Skate or Die! That's Unsane!

I'm slightly under the weather, so today I've been rather lazy. While taking it easy on the couch, I was thinking back to the days of The Box, wishing I could dial in a video request.

But this is 2008. Now we have youtube.

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Listening to: Unsane - Scrape
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Anybody remember that video?

Update: I never requested a video; my parents would've killed me for calling a 900-number.

05 March 2008

NIL8 gave me cooties

Actually, I think this chic gave me cooties at the NIL8 show Saturday night. She asked for a drink of my beer and even though I was thinking, “Weird” I said, “Okay.”

“Sure, go ahead and take a swig of my Taddy Porter,” because you’re nice. And “thanks for offering to share with me your ice water and subsequent ice. I accept your offer,” because you’re nice.

She had a blue sun painted on her forehead.

That should have tipped me off, but alas, I was too busy paying attention to NIL8 to notice she bore the Mark of the Cootie. In the heat of the moment, while everyone was rocking out, I decided to share drinks with a total stranger and now I’m sick. What was I thinking?

I know what I was thinking, “you’re nice. Let’s share.” I spent a bit of time talking to that girl before the show and really, she was incredibly nice. If I saw her again, I’d probably end up doing the same thing.

As usual, I’m rambling.

I digress.

NIL8 Concert Poster


Though I haven’t mentioned it much on my blog, James and I were quite excited about Saturday night’s NIL8 show at Cicero’s. We’re huge fans, but this was my first time seeing them live.

From the first song to the last, their show was full of energy and their performance was quite entertaining.

I was blown away.

Getting the crowd riled up


Specifically, my ear drums were blown away. Two days later my ears were still ringing but I still didn’t get enough (Dudes, where’s the encore!?).

James and I came home and immediately played NIL8, staying up listening to them until 3 am.


Hey, there's the drummer


I agree with Jeff, This guy said it best...

Powerful foursome from Springfield, IL, N.I.L.8 debuted in 1989 with their first vinyl record featuring "Last Flash of Paisley Pastel" and "Too Loud," followed by the self-produced Six Inch Extension in 1991. Led by brothers Jeff Williams and Bruce Williams, the band signed up to Fundamental Records before issuing Hallelujah I'm Gonna Kill Myself in 1993. N.I.L.8 started getting involved in the U.S. hardcore punk field, performing intense live shows with songs mainly based on social issues. 1995's Eunuch became their first Fuse Records release, followed by the reissue of Hallelujah I'm Gonna Kiss Myself in 1996 and Doug a year later.

~ Drago Bonacich, All Music Guide


Though they played a few of my favorites like Zombie Slut, Heatmiser and Sheep Dreams of a Land…Far Away From His Current Situation, in particular I would have felt complete had I heard Sorrow and The Insanity of Drayton Sawyer and his Hallucination of Love Brought on by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II.

Tsk, tsk, tsk


For now you’ll have to listen to music posted on their MySpace page, as their website is under construction for an indefinite period of time. Because of this, some nights I cry myself to sleep.

Why?

Like every other NIL8 fan in existence, I’m sad as hell to see their site stuck in internet purgatory. All of their music was available to download for free but it suddenly disappeared.

I’m a dumb ass. I assumed it would always be available, therefore, failed to download all of their music. Hopefully it’ll be up and running sooner than later.

Avoiding eye contact


Seriously, drop by their page, listen to some music and show some love.

More pictures are posted here.

Jeff paints, too.

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Listening to: NIL8 – Gumby joins the ranks of cock-fighting hooligans
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04 March 2008

Indecisive Interview

For my other part in The Great Interview Experiment, I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Indecisive Peach, who came up with some great questions – as opposed to my interview tactic which is to write questions that suck.

I actually completed this interview a couple of weeks ago, so upon re-reading my answers after a little time passed it struck me like a ton of bricks: I also write answers that suck.

For instance, “I farted today and it smelled like cat food” (good one, Jnet) and “if someone says ‘happiness’ I hear ‘penis’” (getting a little too weird; take it down a notch). I managed to write inappropriate comments, answer a question with a question, give too-short answers and pepper my responses with links back to my blog.

Somehow in the midst of my ramblings I scored a “Good answer!” reaction; however, I butchered the interview so badly that I suspect it was more of a pity pat-on-the-back.

To read my thoughts on blogging, fart jokes, the outdoors, home remodeling and more, check out the full interview.

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Listening to: Nil8 - Zombie Slut
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