I scream, you scream, we all scream... for pizza!

If you are ever curious about my ethnicity, it is half-genius, half-eeediot. I may have said that before, but I'll never know because I'm related to Forgetful Jones.

I mean, how difficult is it to cook a frozen pizza.

Step 1: Look on the package to see what temperate your pizza requires.

Step 2: Turn oven on and set it to the temperature you discovered during Step 1.

Step 3: (Optional and from what I can tell, this is unique to me) Bust that frozen pizza in half over the edge of your counter.

Step 4: Remove pizza from its packaging.

Step 5: Place the pizza directly on the oven rack or on some sort of pan, whatever.

Step 6: (Optional.) Set a timer so you don't burn your pizza. The recommended time will be on the packaging near where you found the temperature at which you need to cook the pizza.

Step 7: Somehow, without burning yourself, remove the pizza from the oven. (Virtually every time I remove anything from the oven, I burn myself just a little bit; therefore, I cannot offer any sort of advice on how to successfully fool around inside a hot oven without getting hurt. Advice wanted. And yes, I am aware of potholders.)

Step 8: Let it cool for a minute or two.

Step 9: Cut that bad boy.

The pizza is now ready to serve to your dinner guests.

Recently I screwed up somewhere around steps 4 and 5.



I removed the pizza from the oven, set it on the stove next to...

the crust.

That's right, I managed to cook the pizza sans crust.

Cheese and toppings only for this Top Chef.

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Listening to: Jamie Foxx featuring Ludacris - Unpredictable
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PS - if you're wondering why the crust is in two pieces, see Step 3.