27 August 2009

I scream, you scream, we all scream... for pizza!

If you are ever curious about my ethnicity, it is half-genius, half-eeediot. I may have said that before, but I'll never know because I'm related to Forgetful Jones.

I mean, how difficult is it to cook a frozen pizza.

Step 1: Look on the package to see what temperate your pizza requires.

Step 2: Turn oven on and set it to the temperature you discovered during Step 1.

Step 3: (Optional and from what I can tell, this is unique to me) Bust that frozen pizza in half over the edge of your counter.

Step 4: Remove pizza from its packaging.

Step 5: Place the pizza directly on the oven rack or on some sort of pan, whatever.

Step 6: (Optional.) Set a timer so you don't burn your pizza. The recommended time will be on the packaging near where you found the temperature at which you need to cook the pizza.

Step 7: Somehow, without burning yourself, remove the pizza from the oven. (Virtually every time I remove anything from the oven, I burn myself just a little bit; therefore, I cannot offer any sort of advice on how to successfully fool around inside a hot oven without getting hurt. Advice wanted. And yes, I am aware of potholders.)

Step 8: Let it cool for a minute or two.

Step 9: Cut that bad boy.

The pizza is now ready to serve to your dinner guests.

Recently I screwed up somewhere around steps 4 and 5.

The proper way to cook a pizza

I removed the pizza from the oven, set it on the stove next to...

the crust.

That's right, I managed to cook the pizza sans crust.

Cheese and toppings only for this Top Chef.

Listening to: Jamie Foxx featuring Ludacris - Unpredictable

PS - if you're wondering why the crust is in two pieces, see Step 3.


  1. its really difficult!!
    you can order pizza from Bellacino's Pizza and Grinder and grab the offer Buy One Get One Pizza Free.
    Also you can visit at http://www.clickmycoupon.com/business/Bellacinos-Pizza-and-Grinders/37500036 for more offers from Bellacino's Pizza.

  2. Hehehehe... that is most awesome! I would have forked the toppings down my gullet and used the crust as a throw pillow...

  3. What crazy frozen pizza are you making where the crust is separate from the toppings?! Not that I can talk because I burn myself a lot when making frozen pizza...

  4. Ok, invest in oven mitts. Not the $2 oven mitts - real, not-going-to-burn-through oven mitts. OR, just live with the burn marks.

  5. Maybe it's because you forgot to wear the safety glasses - as in the picture!



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