27 February 2014

I'm not as skinny as I thought

The majority of my clothes are thrift finds and I always try them on before I buy because I can't look at an article of clothing and tell how it will fit my body. As soon as Target put out their swim suits, I headed over to their clearance rack because I only have one pair of jeans and no sweaters. I broke my rule and tried nothing on because it's the middle of winter and due to my lack of winter clothes, I dress in 2-3 layers of pants and shirts.

I found quite a few articles of clothing that were in the $5-8 price range. Out of a dozen things, only two pair of pants didn't fit. So I returned them today and when the dude asked me, "Was there a problem with these jeans?" I replied, "Yeah. I'm not as skinny as I thought." 

He made this face:

Horrible photo

I wanted to laugh, but I kept it cool. It was hilarious.

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Listening to: Islands - Swans (Life After Death)
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22 February 2014

Teaching the art of mosaic

This is my second time teaching someone how to mosaic. I have never taken a class and feel anyone can do this! Just draw a picture, then fill in the blanks (think paint-by-number) with broken bits of glass, ceramic, beads, metal, or whatever tesserae you feel like using.

Teaching mosaic!

Kelly's first mosaic, in its beginning stages. She has her picture drawn and has started to fill in the spaces with broken tile and dishes.

Teaching mosaic!

She's a stud! Brilliant work and I couldn't be more proud!

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Listening to: Waldeck - Addicted
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16 February 2014

Can you keep a secret?

I can't. Well, I can, sorta.

It's incredibly difficult to keep these secret mosaic commissions under wraps. In lieu of giving it all away, enjoy a few progress pics.




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10 February 2014

First I procrastinate, then I ramble

Last week at this time, I was like, "Aw man, the dang link for my lasagna-making demo on the news is still broken!" Since then, I've been working and mosaicing and am just now getting around to posting about the news experience. But yeah, that's right. I demo'd how to make lasagna on the news. My first time making lasagna was a few days before this aired.

Lasagna demo about to happen! Wish me luck!

So how'd it happen?

I'm not quite sure. It's weird I was asked to do this. I've blogged for many years and the only three readers I have are the same people who I encountered when I first started this thing: my mom, Desotoe Joe and Baol. Okay, technically I was trying to stretch my readership; I met my mom way before blogs were invented.

Just before Christmas I was offered a lasagna-making kit from a Red Gold Tomato Person. A few weeks later this same Tomato Person asked me to give a brief lasagna tutorial on the news. I said yes even though I had never made lasagna in my life. I knew I could handle it because about a year ago, a dude from work came over and made me lasagna. He's an idiot, so I knew it would be easy. (Kidding, Taylor!)

I knew it was easy because it's layers of sauce-noodles-cheese, sauce-noodles-cheese, sauce-noodles-sauce-cheese.

Layers.

Of three ingredients.

1- Noodles: Use no-boil noodles because it isn't safe for anybody to handle hot noodles.

2- Sauce: add whatever you want to it. Mix a big can of diced tomatoes and two small cans of crushed tomatoes. Or just get one big can of each. Or two small cans of each. You don't have to add anything else. Or you can add cooked meat and whatever vegetables you have on hand. Red, orange, yellow and or green peppers, onion, carrot, mushrooms, spinach, kale, zucchini, squash, and like Taylor did...an apple. I know, it sounds like a typo, but try it.

3- Cheese: Google the cheese. Use whatever is your favorite. One of my cheese layers was ricotta and the other was my own personal blend of shredded cheeses. Mozzarella seemed essential. Then, I added a package of a "Mexican" cheese blend which made me feel uncomfortable, but it was the only way I could incorporate Queso cheese. And I added Colby cheese because it's my favorite. (Technically, Colby cheese is my favorite regular cheese and Derby cheese is my favorite fancy cheese.) 

1-Set oven to 350.
2-Gather your three ingredients.
3-Oil *a baking dish*. Or several small dishes - as long as they are 2" deep.
4-Layer your sauce, noodles and cheeses.
5-Notice at one point I look around confused because the camera guy frantically gave me the wrap-it-up signal

Click HERE to watch video... their embed link is broken. Argh!

*I spent a lot of time searching for a 13"x9"x2" baking dish and I had to buy one. Someone said "get Pyrex" and then I encountered an off-brand and both brands had all these boxes with different combinations of 13 pieces and 20 pieces and 4 pieces and 32 pieces and so many prices and I spent more than 20 minutes trying to figure out what to buy.

In retrospect, I just needed a 2" deep pan I could bake in. I prefer to use several different smaller dishes so I can make a variety of lasagnas at the same time. It's hard to explain, but easy to do.

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Listening to: Nobunny - Do the Scrooge
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